These Are The Days: Wasted Time

Music has a powerful way of recalling memories vividly; to the point that you can almost see, smell and feel everything. Currently my theme song is "Wasted Time" by Keith Urban. My favorite line is "Ain't it funny how the best days of my life was all that wasted time." This summer has been a much-needed change. When it first started out I wasn't certain of my future plans. I knew that something needed to give, but I wasn't sure what exactly that would entail. Life has a funny way of working itself out just when you start to think it never will. One of the greatest things about this summer is that I haven't had much of a daily schedule. It has been nice to be able to relax and accomplish things on my time. This was a major adjustment for me (the scheduler that I am) to be okay with. It goes back to feeling shame for being human and NEEDING to slow down and recuperate. I thought, "Ain't nobody got time for that." But for the first time since I can remember I did have time for that and more importantly I needed to make time for it. It's amazing how when you strip away the feelings of shame how much relief you can feel. It can completely change your outlook on life. So, I went from viewing my time as being "wasted" to view it as time to "heal." Don't want to do my hair today? Great! Don't want to do my makeup either? Even better! Don't worry I still shower. haha! And most days I do wear makeup and style my hair but the point is that I don't have to. It isn't always necessary and I don't need to feel guilty if I don't get ready that day :) I'm feeling more and more like myself again. I don't think I even realized how depressed I had been until things started to change. The end of June I interviewed for a job in Salt Lake and when I walked out of the interview I felt a great sense of hope. Something I didn't realize until that moment, had been seriously lacking in my life. It felt amazing and a little foreign. Now here I am a month later preparing to move to Salt Lake in August to start this new career. I have accepted a Teaching position and Case Manager position through Salt Lake Community Action Program (Salt Lake CAP). I will be a Lead Teacher for their Head Start program and I will be working one-on-one with these children and their families in their home. I will provide assessments and resources where needed. I saw my classroom for the first time a few weeks ago, and I got so ridiculously excited! Everything has just fallen into place including a good ward (Which Juju is in), housing, furniture (Thanks Emma), and a roommate. I will be living with a former mission companion McKenna Jewell. We loved being companions and get along great! I will also be living a lot closer to friends and family. Regrettably, summer is nearly over, but I'm looking forward to what fall has in store for me.

Here are just a few snapshots of what my summer has looked like: