Last night Elder Bednar held a fireside for the Logan YSA wards. It was all question and answer, which is rare for a Quorum of the Twelve to address us that way. It was interesting to hear my peers' questions. The first question that was posed was how he and his wife strengthen their relationship and understood each other. Elder Bednar started off by saying that you should give up on trying to understand each other. Men and women are different. Don't play mind games or try to change each other. Your differences are divinely designed. You don't have to think the same on everything. Prize and value your differences; together you can become whole. He also talked about how you don't find the right person you create it. He also strongly discouraged having "A List." He said it was such an arrogant thing to have. He brought up the fact we need to be more concerned with being the right person; and doing good rather than be focused on whether our future spouse will be. As I was sitting there I thought about the list that I had made the previous year. I haven't looked at it in a long time, but after going to this fireside I decided to pull it out. Here is my list
My Checklist- What I Want in a Man
1. He must be a worthy member of the church-preferably a returned missionary
2. He must have ambition and be able to provide for a family
3. He must have some country in him. He doesn't have to be a total hick but he needs to like the outdoors
4. He needs to make me laugh, and understand my humor
5. I need to feel secure when he's around. Like he won't dump me for the next girl
6. He needs to be a gentleman. He needs to open doors and pay for most of the dates
7. He needs to come from a good family
8. I need to be able to trust him
9. We shouldn't argue a lot
What I Don't Want in a Man
1. ABSOLUTELY NO PLAYERS! If he flirts with my friends he's gone
2. A man who doesn't put any effort into the relationship
3. A guy who isn't a wimp. He shouldn't complain or cry over every little thing
4. A man who believes cow tipping is real
5. A guy who gets upset easily. I shouldn't have to constantly be worried if he's mad at me
While I was looking over my list I had to laugh. Reading some of the things I had listed, reminded me of what I was going through when I originally wrote it. I remembered how much I was struggling/hating boys at the time. Now when I read it I am able to see how much I've grown and changed since then. It's amazing how different your perspective can be in one single year. Granted my list wasn't all bad. There were several good aspects to it. I truly do want a worthy member of the church whom I can trust. Elder Bednar advised to pick a few and strive to do them as well. One of my redeeming things I had on "The List" was what I needed to do in order to get a good man. On the bright side, I got at least one part right!
What I Need to do
1. Don't like a guy just because he likes me
2. Continue to be worthy
3. Be comfortable in my own skin
4. Maintain an upbeat attitude
5. Be willing to try new things
6. Don't kiss every guy
My list has now been destroyed, which is probably for the best. I don't need to focus on finding "Mr. Right." Besides, I'm enjoying my single years, maybe a little too much :)
