Everything All at Once

Name an emotion and I have probably felt it within the last day or two. My body doesn't know quite what to think of it or how to handle it. I'm excited/afraid/happy/upset all at the same time. My To Do List (which I'm sure everyone is getting sick of hearing about) gets bigger every day. It seems like when I cross one thing off, I remember another thing I have to do. And everyone keeps telling me to stop "worrying" it will all get done. Yes, I know it will. But if I don't start doing it now, I will have to do it all at the last minute. And personally I would rather enjoy my last few weeks rather then rushing to get things done. But hey that's just me :) I did get a big thing crossed off my list today though. I called my boss and submitted my last day of work. It was harder to do then I expected. I've really enjoyed this job and it's crazy to think I only have 12 days left of work. I was talking to my roommate Sara about it, and she was asking me how I'm handling the whole mission thing. I explained to her all of the emotions I have been feeling and she brought up something that I've been feeling without even quite realizing it myself. She said, "I think the hardest part about a mission is realizing that life goes on even when you aren't here. People change and when you get back you see wow they did just fine without me." Ha I laughed and made a crack along the lines of: you mean the world doesn't revolve around me after all? As much as I wish it did, it doesn't. I suppose it's a good thing though :) When I arrived at work tonight my supervisor Mason came up to me and was like "Umm Jod I heard something that I'm not very happy about." I instantly was like uh oh what did I do? And then it hit me. "Oh you've talked to Grant and know that I'm leaving." "Yeah, and I don't want you to leave. I'm going to miss working with you." I explained how much I've loved working here and that I want to come back after the mish. He liked that plan and though he's sorry to see me go he's excited for me. Mason who is an atheist mind you, told me that I will be good for the people of Detroit and will touch many lives he's sure of it. I seriously almost started crying. Maybe just maybe I can make a difference after all. And though life will move on just fine without me, everything will work out and I won't mourn what I'm going to miss out on at home... Since that was really heavy here's something to smile about:

                          Be Happy This is Not You

http://iseeahappyface.com/kick-a-ginger-day-victim

I laughed for a very long time about this. Poor kid!

Called to Serve

I received my mission call on Wednesday, June 13, 2012. I had them mail it to my Logan address because I wasn't sure exactly when it would come; and if I would be able to go home to open it. Luckily, it came the Wednesday that worked perfectly for both myself and my family. I have Mission Prep Monday/Wednesday from 8:00-9:00 a.m. and when I came home from Mission Prep, it was in my mail box. You probably think I jumped in my car right then and drove straight home, right? Nope! I was so nervous/scared/excited that I couldn't even handle it! This was it. Once I opened that envelop there was no more "What ifs" or "I wonders" or "Maybe this" it would be this is where you are serving, this is when you are leaving, this is what language you will be speaking. I wasn't sure if I was ready to find out. I took my time packing and even went and got my car serviced which never happens! Those of you who know me best know that I HATE taking my car in. I usually just hurry and drive home and make my dad do it :) I ended up leaving Logan two hours later then expected. I was so scatterbrained the whole time that I'm amazed I made it home safely. The original plan was to open it at 5:30 p.m. Orie who normally gets off around 4:30, didn't get home until 6:30 p.m. Haha! Who would've thought that we would have to wait for him instead of my dad? I guess my dad knew better then to be late for this :) I was content with waiting though. I took my time getting ready and even went shopping. Ha but finally around 7 p.m. the family refused to wait any longer. I even suggested that we go to dinner first. Nope, there was no way that was happening. Finally, succumbing to my fate I went downstairs and tore open the envelop. Here is the video of me opening my call:

I was laughing because I was trying to take my time by reading everything including my address in order to delay what was coming. I think my dad's reaction was pretty funny! And yes, my mission is downtown Detroit and all of the big cities/urban areas around it. After hearing responses like these two-("Wow! You're going to Detroit? That will be... good or scary!" Or my personal favorite "Detroit huh? It's a good thing you Mechams are gun toting women.") I had to do some research on my soon to be home. I knew it was the automobile capital but that was the extent of my knowledge.

Here are some Fun Facts (brought to you by Google of course):
-Flint Michigan (which is included in my mission) is currently the most dangerous city in the United States. Detroit just so happens to be ranked number two.
- Detroit has an unemployment rate of 20%
-82% are black, 8% are white, 7% are Hispanic or Latino, 3% other
-Only 37% claim a religion. Those that are religious are mostly Roman Catholic, Protestant, and Jewish
-It is the potato chip capital of the world
-Vernor's Ginger Ale was created in Detroit and became the first soda pop made in the United States (I do love my soda!)
-Michigan has more shoreline than any other state except Alaska
-Standing anywhere in the state a person is within 85 miles of one of the Great Lakes
-Michigan is the only state in which you must head South in order to go to Canada

Although, I did not expect to go to Michigan and it may be scary at times, I know that this is where the Lord needs me to preach His gospel. I was so afraid that after I found out where I was going, I wouldn't be as excited or have a desire to serve anymore. Luckily that was not the case. I just felt an overwhelming sense of peace. I know without a doubt that this is what I need to be doing with my life right now. Haha right after this video cuts off I exclaimed "I didn't even swear! I didn't even swear when I read it!" I was afraid I would read it and be like "Oh shiz not there. Please not there." And I didn't! So, all in all it was definitely a success. When I called bishop Huppi and told him I received my call he replied with, "Oh good, lets have you speak in church!" YAY! haha I guess I should get used to it. 

Doubt & Fear

I find blogging therapeutic and sometimes it's the only way I can really sort through my thoughts. There's just something about having it all written down that makes it easier to understand. So that being said, this is one of those posts. Please feel free to skip over this one if you'd like :)

Although I have known for over a year now that I should be serving a mission, lately I have felt ill-prepared. Doubt in my abilities to teach the gospel or even know it well enough to share it with others, has clouded my thoughts. The strong conviction that I received that I am to serve, despite all my qualms, is what has kept me pressing forward. I have been reading "The Errand of Angels: Serving As a Sister Missionary" by Amy J. Finnegan, and in it she discusses the fact that it is normal to have second thoughts. She quotes President Monson who offers some comforting insight. 

"Some missionaries are gifted with the power of expression, while others have a superior knowledge of the gospel. Some, however, are late bloomers who day by day become more proficient and successful...Entering the mission field can sometimes be an overpowering and frightening experience. President Harold B. Lee was talking to me one day concerning those who feel inadequate and are worried when they receive an assignment in the Church. He counseled, "Remember, whom the Lord calls, the Lord qualifies."  

Satan is very real and he can make us doubt our abilities. The last thing he wants is for the Lord's work to go forth. Sometimes the only time I feel peace is when I'm on my knees praying. I am so grateful for that peace and have to remind myself of it when feelings of doubt and fear set in. Which brings me to my next qualm, my call...

I will be receiving my call in merely 3 days! What?! Hard to believe I know! When I thought it was coming last week I wasn't nervous at all, I was just excited. Well that was last week and this week I'm freakin! It's crazy to think that one little piece of paper will impact my life so completely. It will decide when I quit my job, when I move home, when I actually start my mission, and most importantly where I will be serving. The Lord knows I can be prideful at times and I hope he doesn't choose this time to humble me. Haha because anyone who has talked to me lately knows that I am quite selective on where I would like to serve. I can see it now "Dear Sister Mecham, You have been called to labor in the Boise, Idaho Mission." Haha I really think I might be humbled especially because I have been joking around that if it's not somewhere "cool" I will send it back and say try again. Oh man I'm getting humbled for sure! I hear Wyoming is lovely this time of year :) Another reason why I have been prideful in where I want to serve is because for the rest of my life this will be a question I get asked a lot. "Oh you served a mission? Where did you serve?" And then I would have to reply with somewhere lame. Then the other person will get that look on their face that says "Oh how nice " though they don't really mean it, they just don't want to make you feel bad. Wow, I will stop there before I get struck down :) but admit it, we all know that look. Haha Ogden, Utah Mission here I come! In all seriousness though, wherever I serve I know that I will love it and it will be perfect for me. To quote from "The Errand of Angels" again, "You should know that Heavenly Father has chosen you to teach His gospel in a precise location for a wise and eternal purpose. No matter where you are called, the people are loved by the Lord and are in need of His gospel. We learn from the scriptures that "God is mindful of every people, whatsoever land they may be in; yea, he numbereth his people, and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth" (Alma 26:37). The calling is what is important, not the country." I truly believe this. Next time I post it should be stating where I'm going. Fingers crossed that my call doesn't address me as Elder Mecham like it did when they emailed me about what immunizations I needed :)